


Helen and Yatima

by valisi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, F/F, Minor Violence, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 20:35:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13084857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valisi/pseuds/valisi
Summary: Ymir and Historia find each other in the next life.





	Helen and Yatima

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested by @ackbang (Tumblr) , also known as gouguruheddo (AO3), who makes beautiful art and writes some  
> knee-wobbling fiction. Definitely check out her work if you haven't already. 
> 
> This happens in the same Universe as a larger work that I've written called Smack. If you haven't read Smack, the only part you need to know of the story is the Reincarnation mechanism. When a character makes eye contact with the person they thought of last when they died, all of their memories of their life within the SNK universe are restored.
> 
> I separated this from the other works that I've written as a request because I wanted to dedicate some space to YumiKuri. This is the first time that I've worked with them without other characters, and I enjoyed every minute of it. They're beautiful, and I love them. 
> 
> But also, Jean is in here, if you can find him.

Helen didn't do a lot of exciting things as a teenager. Not the way that Juliana and Madison had. Granted, Juliana and Madison had known each other since grade school. They had a lot of time to scheme together. Helen liked them. She didn't feel like the third wheel despite them being so close. And they were the first ones to show any interest in her on campus after she moved to London. 

She knew that her parents wouldn't want her to go to the party. But she was already dressed, caked in makeup, and in the cab with Juliana and Madison. 

“You get quiet when you're excited,” Madison said. Helen looked at her. Madison had really vibrant green eyes with highlighted hair. And pretty, tan skin. As much as Helen denied it to herself, she was extremely attracted to her. “Judah is going to be there.” Helen stopped herself from cringing, and she smiled instead. She felt herself blush, not from embarrassment, but from shame. Helen wrapped her arms around herself. 

“Cold?” Juliana asked. Helen shook her head. She didn't know when she was going to admit it to them. If she told them she was a lesbian, they might abandon her. That had happened in high school, back in Arizona. University was supposed to be different. London was vastly different. But she couldn't be sure. “Callen says they're already there,” Juliana said, giving her mobile phone back to Helen. Helen put it in one of the deep pockets of her cargo pants. 

She wanted to wear the black cargo pants because they were her favorite. She thought Madison would rip them out of her hands when she pulled them out of her dresser. But Juliana made a compromise for them, as always. That's how Helen ended up in white crop top and a lot of punk makeup. She wrapped her arms back around herself once the phone was safe in one of her many pockets. 

“Do these pants really look that bad?” she asked. 

“Y-”

“Not with the top and boots. No one is going to be looking at your pants,” Juliana said. 

“I am,” Madison said. Juliana gave Madison a side-eye. Juliana's blue eyes were familiar to Helen somehow. Along with her thick blonde eyebrows. Madison scoffed. 

“We're almost there,” Juliana said. She looked at Helen. “Callen brought some candy. If you don't want any, don't take any. If Judah gives you a hard time about it, let me know.” 

“I can take care of myself,” Helen said. 

“I know,” Juliana said, with a smirk. Helen winced. 

Lately, Helen had been struggling with the idea of why she was attracted to Madison and Juliana. Their values were separate from hers. Neither of them made excellent grades, and they never asked Helen to help them even though she was making all As without much effort. But they seemed familiar. 

Juliana's personality had a type of bite. Madison was... physically attractive. She was also outwardly hateful, but extremely kind and patient for people that she decided to love. Paired together, they were the most aggressive women that Helen had ever met. 

They always sat her between the two of them. Madison leaned closer to Helen because she still had her arms wrapped around herself tightly. Helen leaned into her. 

The cab stopped, and Helen didn't want to leave the warm car. But she didn't feel like she had the right to complain, considering that she was in boots, and Juliana and Madison were wearing spike heels. They walked in heels like they were born in them. 

Juliana exited the vehicle, pulling Helen with her, and Helen pulled Madison. When Juliana's feet hit the street, she started moving. Helen looked around for the club, and she didn't see a line. Typically, there was a line for a popular club. 

Madison practically pushed Helen forward while they walked. They were both so much taller that Helen was almost running, but Madison helped her keep pace. When she realized they were going into an alley, the excitement morphed into anxiety. Her insides melted a little, making her feel like she needed to urgently pee. But she trusted Juliana. Helen had seen Juliana assault a grown man for attempting to steal Madison's Prada purse once. It was terrifying. They didn't even call the police. 

Helen felt safe between the two of them. 

She realized that's why she went with them. She wanted to be brave. 

A group of people were waiting for them at the end of the alley, and Helen saw the tips of cigarettes lighting in the dark. One of the shapes was Judah. She only recognized him because he stood up straighter. Judah always did that when she was near. 

At the end of the alley, Juliana broke away and hugged Callen. Kyle, Taylor, and Bobby stayed in place. Judah instantly moved to Helen, and she stepped back a bit. His height was intimidating, and Madison put her shoulder between Helen and Judah. 

“Hey, babe,” Madison said, forcibly pulling Judah into a hug. Judah hugged her back, and Helen saw him smile in the dim light. 

“Evenin', love,” he said, patting Madison's back. 

“Madison,” Juliana said. Madison pulled away and went over to Juliana. She grabbed Helen's hand along the way and dragged her along. Helen followed, looked at Judah over her shoulder, and he smiled at her again. He was a good person. Judah was really kind. But Helen wasn't interested. Juliana and Madison didn't want her to be alone with him, and she didn't know why. 

Madison passed Helen off to Juliana, and Juliana wrapped her arm around Helen's shoulders, sniffing. Callen held up a short straw and compact mirror. There was white residue on the glass, and there was still a line for Madison. Madison took the straw, and Helen watched her snort it before rubbing her nose. She licked the extra coke from her fingers when some of it came back from her nose. 

“Do you want some?” Juliana asked. Her breath was hot on Helen's neck, and Helen's mouth watered. Helen wanted to try it. When Madison looked at her, Helen saw that Madison's eyes were watering. 

“Maybe later,” Helen said. Juliana kissed Helen's temple and sniffed. 

“Can we go?” Callen asked, closing the compact and stashing it away with the straw in his jacket pocket. Juliana nodded. 

Callen didn't wait any longer before he turned and started walking. Juliana kept her arm around Helen. And she leaned in close to Helen's ear again while they walked. 

“When we get in here, we're probably going to lose you at some point,” Juliana said. “Callen said that he talked to Judah, but that doesn't mean much. You've got my mobile. You have your mobile. You've got Madison's. If he does anything, call Callen. Scream your location-” 

“Why?” Helen asked quietly.

“He's not in school anymore for a reason,” Juliana said. “We need him for now.” Helen nodded. That's all she wanted to know. And if Juliana and Madison didn't like Judah, Helen didn't imagine she would like him either. She kind of wanted to know why they needed Judah. He was a resource for something, but she couldn't imagine what he had that Juliana or Madison could want. It didn't make much sense to her.

Callen took a left into a smaller alley, and Madison reached over, grabbed Helen's hand. Helen squeezed it. It always seemed like Madison could read her mind. And Helen wondered, one more time, what she had done to deserve people who cared for her so much. 

Callen came to an abrupt stop, and Helen almost walked into his back. Callen knocked on the door in a rhythm, and ten seconds later, the door opened. He had to duck to pass through the door, and Juliana and Madison ducked as well. Helen looked up at the door frame. It was rather short, but she passed it without a problem. 

The music started pumping in her chest. And she smelled the cigarettes. Helen had taken some allergy medicine earlier, and she was glad that Madison suggested it. When they turned right down the narrow hallway, Helen saw the lights flashing at the end of the hall. Rainbow colors. 

She didn't know it was a rave. 

Madison let go of her hand, and Juliana took her arm away. Helen wanted to cling to them, but she stopped herself from reaching out. She wanted this. At least, she wanted to pretend like she wasn't afraid of a private night club. Or a rave, whichever it was. She liked the music in her chest. She liked the lights. Helen swallowed, and when they turned the final corner, she saw the large room. 

People were packed together, moving like one force together. The lights were fast. There was a live DJ at the back of the room, and there was a cloud of smoke pressing against the ceiling. The smell of marijuana hit her first. Cigarettes again. Beer. Helen felt a hand against her lower back, and when she looked up, she saw it was Bobby. 

Helen couldn't hear him, but she thought he said something about dancing. She smiled and followed him into the crowd. Bobby was sweet. Reserved even, and it surprised Helen that he touched her at all. He had barely spoken to her since she had met him. Bobby pulled her into the crowd, held her close enough to keep her with him, and they found a place that had opened up. 

The music took over, and Helen kept her eyes on Bobby. He was doing the generic boy dance, moving his hips. Sex movements, really. But Bobby probably didn't know much else. Helen moved with him, away from him, back to him. She let the beat move her limbs, and another man approached her. When she turned to look at Bobby, he had moved on to another woman, and Helen pulled the new man close. The man had brown and blond hair. The highlights looked natural though, and his light-brown eyes had a vicious look. But Helen wasn't afraid of him. He had a joint in his mouth, but he passed it to someone else before he put his hands on her hips. Helen pushed her hands through her hair, and the guy smiled at her. In the middle of the next song, the guy moved on to another girl. And Helen watched him move away. 

She waited for someone else, and no one else came. Helen danced anyway. The music was her partner, and it was really all she wanted. When she felt hands on her bare sides, Helen turned around, and Judah smiled down at her. His black hair was already soaked, and she wondered if he had wet it in the sink of the bathroom. Maybe he had sweated that much. 

Judah pulled her close, too quickly, so hard that it hurt. Helen winced, and she moved as little as possible. She was still dancing in a way. Not as free. Judah's hands moved from her ribs to her hips, and Helen felt her mouth dry out. 

Helen reached out and pushed against Judah. He pressed his fingertips into her hips so hard that it hurt, and Helen started fighting against him. Judah wrapped his arms around her biceps, taking away most of her strength, and all she had left were her hands. Helen couldn't think of anything decent to do, and she reached up to his chest, pinched both of his nipples with her nails and twisted as hard as she could. 

Judah let go, and then he pushed her so hard that she fell back. As she was falling to the floor, she heard him yelling. Not in pain. But anger. 

Arms caught her. Helen was pulled up by her sides. Her feet were scrambling for purchase. The pair of hands were soft against her bare skin. When she was upright again, she saw Bobby and another man pushing against Judah. Pushing him away from her. Even in all of the flashing lights, Helen saw how red Judah's face was. Almost purple.

Helen turned to see who was still holding her upright, and in the flashing lights, she couldn't see the color of the woman's eyes. But she saw the woman's eyes widen. She saw the freckles. Tan skin. The dark hair.

“Historia,” Ymir mouthed. Historia felt her eyes burning when she stopped blinking, and her mouth opened. No sound came out. She had no words prepared. 

She saw Ymir, the soldier. Heard Ymir's voice in her mind. Saw Ymir the Titan. Felt Ymir's hands on her. Felt herself being wrapped up in a Titan's hand, gently petted with a single, giant finger. Carried away so fast that the wind burned her face. 

Historia lifted her feet from the floor, and Ymir was already lifting her. Historia wrapped her legs around Ymir's waist, and she felt Ymir moving, pushing them through the crowd. Their mouths met, and Historia gasped against Ymir's mouth. She tasted the same. They only had one kiss ever, and Historia still remembered the taste. 

She felt Ymir's tongue in her mouth, and Historia met it, as best as she could. Dying from being deprived for years. Starving for more of Ymir's taste. 

Historia didn't know where they were going, but Ymir was moving faster. Historia felt a wall against her back. It moved. It was a swinging door. The music was quieter. There were voices. One more door, which slammed behind them, the sound of metal on metal. 

Other female voices exclaimed, and Historia pulled her mouth away. She opened her eyes. They were in a corner bathroom stall. The women in the bathroom were cheering them on. Historia looked at Ymir's eyes, and the tears glistening on Ymir's bottom eyelids made Historia remember. She remembered everything. 

Historia pulled her legs away, put her feet on the floor, and reared back with both hands. 

“You fucking left me!” she screamed in their first language. Ymir caught both of her wrists, twisted her, and pushed her back against the cinderblock wall of the stall. The old, abused paint felt tacky against Historia's bare skin. 

“I'm sorry,” Ymir said in her ear. Historia almost cried when she heard the words. She had been waiting to hear that language all of her life. Ymir pressed kisses against Historia's neck, moving down, pressing her tongue to Historia's skin. “I'm sorry, Historia. I'm so sorry.” 

“You left me, Ymir,” Historia pressed against Ymir's hands. Her wrists only came away from the wall for a moment. Ymir pinned her with her entire body. Then, she leaned back, and Historia watched Ymir's mouth tremble. 

“I had to,” she said, loud enough to be heard, not loud enough to be defensive. And the few tears that fell made the skin of her face darker. “I had to leave you, Historia. Or they would have come back for you.” 

“You were supposed to live for yourself!”

“I did! I lived for myself! I made the decision that I wanted to make!” Ymir yelled. Yelling in their language was so much harsher than English. Historia pushed harder. She pushed with her whole body. But Ymir had always been stronger. She was still stronger. 

“You said you wanted to marry me!”

“I do!” Ymir said. Historia stopped moving, stared at Ymir's face. “I do want to marry you!” Ymir squeezed harder. Historia saw Ymir's eyes scan her. “I do,” Ymir repeated. Ymir's eyes met Historia's again. “If you hadn't been a fucking royal, I could have stayed. But if going back to Marley to give them the Titan form would have delayed the war at all, even a few months, I wanted to do it.” Ymir swallowed so heavily that Historia saw her throat move. She wanted to put her mouth there. She wanted to taste Ymir's skin. 

Historia leaned up, and Ymir helped by leaning down. Historia couldn't hear anymore. She opened her mouth and bit Ymir's bottom lip. Ymir pressed her knee between Historia's legs, and Historia grinded against it. Ymir let go of her wrists, framed her face with her hands, and Historia grabbed Ymir's shirt in her fists, pulling tight. 

Without thinking much about it, Historia started pulling at Ymir's black tank top. And Ymir let her. Historia pulled Ymir's shirt off, breaking the kiss for only a second, and she dropped it to the dirty floor. Then, she was pulling at Ymir's sports bra, had it off in seconds. While Ymir was dropping her bra, Historia yanked off her white crop top, dropped it, tried to get her bra off. But Ymir was faster, and Historia felt Ymir's lips, her tongue through the lace of her bra. Historia gasped first, bit her bottom lip, trying to be quiet. Ymir sucked her nipple through the lace, pressed her teeth gently against the nub, and Historia whimpered, started trembling. 

Historia felt a vibration against her leg. It was her phone, but she couldn't stop Ymir. 

When Ymir licked a stripe up her chest and neck, Historia closed her eyes tightly. Ymir's mouth was on hers again. Historia whined into Ymir's mouth, and the cinderblock wall scratched against her bare back. 

Ymir grabbed Historia's ass, lifted her up, tired of leaning down, and Historia's hands went to Ymir's breasts. As soon as she squeezed, Ymir broke the kiss with a gasp. And Ymir tilted her head to put her mouth to Historia's neck. Historia opened her eyes, stared at the filthy ceiling while Ymir marked her neck. She pinched Ymir's nipples, lightly twisted, and Ymir practically thrusted against her, squeezing her ass harder. 

Another vibration against Historia's leg. From a different phone. 

But then Ymir's hands began moving from her ass, to her hips, between her legs. Historia felt Ymir pulling at the buttons of her pants. 

Historia didn't care they were in a dirty club bathroom. She had dreamed of Ymir's hands on her. Dreamed of Ymir's mouth on her, in their first life, in this one. She had dreamed of a woman with freckles and dark hair. Even if she had never seen Ymir's eyes, she had dreamed of her. Sleeping in the same bed. Eating breakfast. Kissing at night in a cold room. 

“Helen!” Madison yelled. Historia opened her eyes. 

“Shit,” Historia said. Ymir pulled back and looked at Historia's eyes. “That's me,” she said. “I'm here!” she yelled. Ymir squinted at her, looked at the closed stall door. 

“You're in there?” Juliana called, louder and more commanding than Madison. “We were calling you, dumb cunt!” Ymir let go of Historia and moved towards the door, but Historia grabbed her and held on. 

“Stop,” Historia told her. “I scared them.” 

“I don't give a damn,” Ymir said, still using their first language. 

“Who's in there with you?” Madison asked. 

“A friend,” Historia said. 

“Your friend dropped her bra,” Madison said. Historia looked down, and she saw Madison's shadow close to the floor. Madison was looking under the door. 

“I'll be out in a minute,” Historia said. 

“Come out now,” Juliana said. 

“No,” Historia said. She pulled Ymir closer. Ymir was gritting her teeth, and her eyes were trained on the door. All of her muscles were tense. 

“You have our phones,” Juliana said. Historia let go of Ymir. She took both Julian and Madison's phones out of her pockets and passed them to the women on the other side of the door. 

“I'll be out in a minute,” Historia said. “You can wait or not wait. I don't care.” While she was close to the floor, Historia grabbed her top and pulled it back on. She looked back up at Ymir, who was staring at her, confused. “Are you coming?” Ymir's eyes scanned her. 

“I'm here with someone,” Ymir said, in English. It was the first time Ymir had spoken in English, and she had a slight English accent. It wasn't ask thick as Juliana or Madison's accents. Historia's eyebrows pulled together, and she frowned. 

“Then, dump her.” Historia insisted on using their first language. 

Ymir hesitated, her mouth opening, no sound. Historia reached out, wrapped her arm around Ymir and pulled her close. 

“Come home with me,” Historia said, leaning down, mouthing at Ymir's freckled chest. 

“I- ah.” 

“Ymir,” Historia kissed her neck before looking up at her. Ymir looked down at her, and Historia saw the worry in her eyes. “Get dressed and come home with me.” 

“I live with her,” Ymir said. She was using English. She was pulling away. 

“I'll replace whatever you have,” Historia said, using English too. “I swear. You can live with me.” Ymir shook her head. 

“I asked her to marry me yesterday.” Historia's eyes widened. Ymir closed her eyes, tightly, then opened them and rolled them. 

“Hey,” Historia said. Ymir shook her head and turned around to grab her bra and shirt. “Ymir!” Ymir pulled her bra and shirt back on. She reached past to unlock the door, but Historia grabbed her wrist. “Hey!” Ymir pulled her wrist away. 

“Historia-” 

“Give me one night,” Historia said. She grabbed Ymir's shirt. “Just one night. If you have to marry her, fine. One night. The wedding night we never had.” Ymir pushed Historia's hair back away from her face. 

“I need some time,” Ymir said. Historia felt the tingling, the burning in her eyes. The look in Ymir's dark gray eyes gave Historia a twisted feeling in her chest. Heartbreak was such a stingy, hollow feeling. 

But she nodded. She let go of Ymir's wrist and reached down into her pocket. She pulled out her cellphone and gave it to Ymir. Ymir put her number in the phone, and then she kissed Historia, hard and fast, holding her in place by her hair. Historia almost lost her balance, and she took a moment to recover once Ymir pulled away. 

Then, Ymir pushed her out of the way and let herself out of the stall. Historia watched her go, and she saw Juliana and Madison leaning against the sinks, waiting. 

Juliana and Ymir stared each other down for a moment long enough that Historia worried about both of them. But Ymir left the restroom, and Juliana and Madison started walking towards the stall. Historia put her back to the wall, close to the door so they couldn't block her inside. They shut the door behind themselves and locked it. With the toilet in the way, it was a tight fit. 

“You okay?” Madison asked, reaching out for a hug. Historia pushed Madison's hands away. She stared at the name in her phone. 

“Did Judah hurt you?” Juliana asked. “Did that girl hurt you?” 

“No,” Historia said, shaking her head. “Judah didn't hurt me. And Ymir wouldn't. She had to go.” 

“Ymir?” 

“What kind of name is that?” Madison asked. Historia shrugged. She turned off her phone screen and put the phone in her pocket. 

“I'm ready to go home,” she said. “Are you two staying?” 

“We're staying,” Juliana said. “What's your problem, Helen?” 

“I love her,” Historia said, looking up at Juliana. Juliana raised her eyebrows. “I'm in love with her.” 

“I didn't know you were lesbian,” Madison said. 

“Yeah,” she said before looked at the floor again. 

“What's wrong?” Juliana asked, cutting to the issue. She never minced words. Historia shook her head. “You've known her a long time?” 

“I haven't seen her in a long time,” Historia said. “She's with someone else.” Madison reached out one more time, and Historia glared at her. Madison looked hurt and let her hand drop.

“You're going home?” Juliana asked. Historia nodded. “Bobby can escort you home. He's been waiting to see if you're okay.” 

“I don't need an escort,” Historia said, reaching over to the lock. She unlocked the door and pressed, watching the door swing open. 

“Don't be stupid just because you can't have her right now,” Juliana said. Historia turned and looked at her. She knew why she liked Juliana and Madison. They were like Ymir in a way. Clinging to her. Protecting her, even when they didn't have to. 

Historia unlocked the door and let herself out of the stall. Juliana and Madison followed her. Outside the women's restroom, the music picked up to the previous volume, and Historia looked for Ymir even though she knew that she wouldn't be there. Bobby was waiting for her, and Historia linked her arm with his. 

“I want to go home,” she told him. Bobby led her away from the hallway where the restrooms were, through the disco, and over to the entry hallway. Historia looked for Ymir the whole time they were moving, but she knew that she wouldn't find her. 

Bobby hailed the cab for them, and he rode with her back to her flat. While they were in the cab, Historia texted Ymir a crown emoji. That way she would know who it was without any details. If her fiancée saw the message, Ymir could claim she had no idea who it was. But Ymir would know. 

At her flat, Bobby even walked her to the door. 

“I'm sorry,” he said, while Historia was unlocking the door. She looked up at him. 

“Why?” 

“I was with you at first, and I left,” Bobby said. Bobby shrugged in his leather jacket. Historia smiled up at him, put a hand on his bicep and squeezed. 

“You're a good friend, Bobby,” she said. 

“You're too good for us, Helen,” he said. Historia frowned. “We should have run off Judah a while back, but his brother gives us a discount on blow.” Historia shook her head. “He doesn't know when to stop.” 

“I'm going to decide who I want to be around,” she said. “I'll see you later. Thank you for coming back with me.” Historia smiled at him and opened the door to her flat. Bobby stood there, watching her, and she guessed that he didn't leave until he heard the door lock. 

Historia threw her crop top in the hamper along with her cargo pants. She threw her boots under the bed, and she went to the mirror. When she looked at her self, she saw the wet spot on her bra. The one that Ymir had made with her mouth. 

******

Two days later, Historia was studying for finals. She didn't have to study much, but she liked to refresh herself before a test. For a while, she had been considering changing her major, but she wasn't sure anymore. Biomedical engineering still had a lot of appeal to her, but politics were suddenly more interesting than before. 

More interesting was an understatement. She hardly ever looked at the news before. Since Ymir, she was checking the news twice a day. 

Juliana and Madison had both texted her to ask if she wanted to hang out, and she told both of them that she was studying for finals. They asked to study together, and she said that she had plans with a different study group. She wanted to see them again, but she needed some time. Historia needed time to think of her first life, as a soldier desperate to be a hero. Then as queen. And now. How all of it contributed to who she was as a person and who she wanted to be this time. 

Her phone buzzed against the desk, and Historia picked it up. Ymir. 

_Ymir: Send me your address_

Historia typed out the address and sent it. 

_Historia: How long will it take for you to get here?_

_Ymir: Give me a couple of hours._

Historia closed her laptop and ran from her desk to the bathroom. She threw off her tshirt and panties and hopped in the shower with a shower-cap on. She had washed her hair the night before, and she didn't really need to shower again. But she wanted to. 

After her shower, she tossed the shower-cap, dried off, brushed her hair. And she went to her closet and put on her favorite green sundress. The color of the dress reminded her of the capes they wore back then. She opted for no bra and no panties. If she had to shamelessly seduce Ymir, she would. Ymir hadn't said if they were just going to talk or have their one and only honeymoon. Maybe Ymir was moving in with her. Historia wanted to prepare for any option. And fight for the one she wanted most. 

Historia sat down on the bed to paint her toenails with some clear polish. While she was painting her toes, she thought of what she was doing. Yes, she wanted Ymir. She wanted her forever. But Historia stopped painting, put the brush back into the bottle, screwed on the cap, and let the bottle drop to the bed. 

She shouldn't try to ruin Ymir's relationship with her fiancée. She knew that wasn't fair. Historia frowned, pushing at the nail polish bottle with her index finger. She wanted Ymir to be happy. More than anything, she wanted Ymir to be happy with her. But if Ymir had already promised someone that she would marry them, then... Historia didn't want to take that from Ymir. 

Carefully, Historia picked up the nail polish bottle and painted the rest of her toes with purpose. With every stroke of the brush, she promised herself that she wouldn't ruin Ymir's life. She wouldn't take away Ymir's wedding. She would do the right thing. 

After she painted her nails, she had some time to watch TV before Ymir came by. She watched Criminal Minds. Not because she wanted to. The show was too intense for her. But she wanted to depress herself a little. She didn't want to jump into Ymir's arms as soon as Ymir walked in the door. 

Well, she did. But she shouldn't. She decided that she wouldn't. 

When the sun began setting, Historia considered texting Ymir. But that seemed like a lot. Ymir was ony an hour late. And her mother texted her then anyway. 

_Mommy: I love you, darling. You're going to do great on your finals!_

_Helen: Thank you, Mom. I love you._

__Historia loved her mother. She wanted to tell her that she had found the love of her life. But then again, her mother didn't know she was gay. Historia wasn't sure she wanted to tell her when she wasn't even in the same country. She didn't even think her mother would care very much, as long as grandchildren were still an option. Her dad wouldn't mind either way._ _

__The knock on her door made Historia jump. She dropped her phone on the couch, had to stop herself from running to the door. She walked, reasonably. Checked the peep-hole. Ymir._ _

__Historia unlocked the door, and Ymir looked her up and down._ _

__“Hey,” Historia said. Ymir was wearing jeans and a red tshirt. Her hair was pulled back like it had been in their first life. “Come in.” Historia stepped back, and Ymir tore her eyes away before she walked in the door. Historia felt her heart sink into her chest when she saw Ymir didn't have anything with her. No luggage. Or possessions. Historia closed the door and didn't bother locking it. She wasn't sure how long Ymir would be with her._ _

__When she looked back to Ymir, she saw Ymir's eyes were wide, and her eyebrows were raised. Historia looked down at herself, not sure what Ymir was seeing. She had chosen not to wear a bra or panties, but she didn't think Ymir cared. They had seen more of each other in their Cadet days. She looked back at Ymir, and Ymir was red, almost as red as her shirt._ _

__“Can I have some water?” Ymir asked in English. Historia noticed her British accent was thicker that time._ _

__“Yeah, sure,” she said. “Sorry. I should have offered.” Historia walked past Ymir to her tiny kitchenette and poured some water for Ymir. She gave Ymir the glass, and Ymir drank it all. Then, she put the glass down. Ymir cleared her throat._ _

__“I talked to Gia-”_ _

__“Is that your future wife?” Historia asked, trying to be polite. And she hoped that she sounded sincere. Ymir nodded._ _

__“Yeah.”_ _

__“What did you tell her?”_ _

__“Everything,” Ymir said, looking at Historia. “She believed parts of it.”_ _

__“What parts?”_ _

__“The past lives bit. And she-” Ymir cleared her throat, her eyes looking Historia over again. “She believed the part about what we did in the toilets last night. But she didn't like it.” Historia looked down at her toes and wiggled them.  
“I'm sorry.” _ _

__“Gia can't afford the flat on her own,” Ymir said. Historia nodded. “Umm.” Ymir glanced at her and then looked away._ _

__“I've been thinking,” Historia said. Ymir looked at her. That severe look that Historia missed so much. “It was wrong for me to ask you to give her up.” Ymir's eyebrows pinched together. “I shouldn't have done that, and I want you to live for yourself. Like we promised. It counts this time too.”_ _

__“His-”_ _

__“I'm sorry, Ymir,” Historia said. “I shouldn't have asked that. And I know you can't drop everything for me.”_ _

__“I can-”_ _

__“I don't want you to-”_ _

__“I can't fucking think when you're wearing that thing!” Ymir yelled. Historia raised her eyebrows, leaning back. Ymir stepped towards her, and Historia was frozen to the spot._ _

__When she felt Ymir's hands in her hair, she trembled, and she felt Ymir's breath on her mouth before the kiss. Historia leaned into it. Tasted Ymir's mouth, which was fresh from toothpaste or mouthwash. And the kiss was much gentler than what they had done to each other in the restroom before. It was like their first kiss, with Ymir's hands in her hair._ _

__Historia opened her eyes, and pulled away, feeling Ymir's fingers tug through her hair as she moved. With a gasp, Historia tried to set herself right._ _

__“Stop, Ymir.”_ _

__“No,” Ymir said, shaking her head, moving forward._ _

__“Think of Gia-”_ _

__“I talked to her-”_ _

__“But what did she say?”_ _

__“She said if her queen came back she would drop me like a sack of sand,” Ymir said, moving forward. “And she meant it.”_ _

__Historia opened her mouth to say something else, and Ymir pushed her against the only counter space in the kitchen, lifting her up, setting her on the counter, slipping between her legs. Ymir's hands slipped under the skirt of her dress, and Historia titled her head back to rest it against the wall. Ymir's mouth was on her neck then, and Ymir's fingertips were on her inner thighs._ _

__With a few light touches, Ymir's fingertips made their way to Historia's hips, and Ymir hissed against Historia's neck when she felt the bare skin instead of panties. Ymir broke contact with her fingers for a moment, like she had been burned, and Historia wrapped her arms around Ymir's shoulders, keeping her in place. She pulled the tie from Ymir's hair, slipped her fingers into the dark, thick locks. Ymir nuzzled against the skin of her neck._ _

__“I wanted to wait until we're married,” Ymir said. Her fingertips began ghosting against Historia's skin again, and Historia pushed her hips forward, trying to get more contact. She was aching to be touched, probably staining the bit of her dress that was under her ass._ _

__“We can wait,” Historia promised, despite the fact that she was trembling and burning up. Ymir pushed her hands farther up Historia's dress again, grabbed both of her hips, pulled her further to the edge of the counter._ _

__“I never got the chance to kneel for you,” Ymir said. Historia swallowed, her mouth watering to the point that some drool threatened to slip from the corners of her mouth. “If we didn't wait.. until we're married, could you keep it a secret?” Historia nodded, and Ymir leaned back, looked at her eyes, questioning. “Can I kneel for you, Historia?” Historia couldn't breathe deeply anymore. She nodded harder. “I'm going to worship you, the way I always meant to.” Ymir leaned forward, pressed their lips together, and Historia shoved her tongue into Ymir's mouth, licking the inside of her, desperate to taste every bit._ _

__Ymir broke the kiss with a sloppy wet sound, kissed Historia's chin, and then she sank down to the floor, kneeling, pushing Historia's legs apart. Historia's chest started rising and falling without rhythm. Ymir's palms were against her inner thighs, and Historia parted them farther, shaking so hard she thought she might slip from the counter. But she knew Ymir wouldn't let that happen. Historia let her head fall back against the wall. She closed her eyes, felt Ymir's breath between her legs, and she relaxed, accepting that Ymir was home again. And there was no reason for her to leave again. Historia wouldn't let her leave again. She would keep her goddess this time._ _


End file.
